Mom Has Dementia and Still Lives Alone — What to Do First in Florida

In this article

1. Start with a diagnosis you can point to
2. Do the legal papers before anything else
3. Walk through the house like an inspector
4. Wandering is the line to watch
5. Bring help into the home
6. The order to do things in
7. What we will tell you honestly
8. Signs that living alone has stopped working

If your mother has dementia and still lives alone, the first month comes down to six things: a diagnosis that is written down, a safety check of the house, the legal papers signed while she can still sign them, a driving and money check, help coming into the home, and a clear idea of the point where living alone stops working. None of these needs a move. All of them need to start this week, because the legal one has a deadline you cannot see.

Start with a diagnosis you can point to

"She forgets things" is not something a lawyer, a doctor's office or a Medicaid screener can act on. A diagnosis on paper is. If your parent has not had a full evaluation, ask the primary care doctor for a referral to a neurologist or to a Memory Disorder Clinic.

Florida's Alzheimer's Disease Initiative is run by the Department of Elder Affairs. It authorizes 17 Memory Disorder Clinics across 13 service areas, and those clinics provide diagnostic and referral services for Alzheimer's disease and related dementias. Which clinic covers Citrus County depends on the service area map, so ask the Elder Helpline at (800) 963-5337 to point you to the right one rather than driving to the wrong city.

The same initiative also funds respite care and caregiver support for people with a diagnosed dementia, delivered through the Area Agencies on Aging. That is another reason the diagnosis matters: it opens doors.

Do the legal papers before anything else

This is the part families put off, and it is the part that cannot be fixed later. A durable power of attorney lets someone pay bills and manage accounts. A health care surrogate designation lets someone speak to doctors. Your parent can only sign either one while they still understand what the document does. Once that is gone, the only route is a court guardianship, which is slower, public and expensive.

Book an elder law attorney now, and book a morning appointment, because people with dementia tend to be sharper earlier in the day. Bring the diagnosis and ask the attorney whether your parent can still sign. That is the attorney's call to make, not yours and not a doctor's.

Walk through the house like an inspector

Four things go wrong first when someone with dementia lives alone, and you can check all four in an afternoon.

The stove. Burned pans and a forgotten burner are the most common early warning. An automatic shutoff device that fits on the stove is a small fix that buys a lot of time. A microwave and a few ready meals can replace the stove entirely.

Medications. Check the bottles against the pill organizer. Doubled doses and skipped doses both show up here. A locked automatic dispenser takes the daily decision out of your parent's hands.

The car. Read our post on dementia and driving in Florida before you have the conversation. It is the hardest one, and it goes better when a doctor says it first.

Money. Look for unpaid bills, stacks of unopened mail, gift card purchases and calls from people your parent cannot name. Dementia makes people easy targets for scams. Moving to a single account with a trusted second person watching it is a practical step once the power of attorney is signed.

The Alzheimer's Association publishes home safety tips for people living with dementia that cover the rest of the house.

Wandering is the line to watch

Many families can live with forgetfulness. Very few can live with wandering. If your parent has walked out of the house at night, gotten lost on a familiar street, or called you from somewhere they could not name, the plan changes, because a person who wanders alone is at real risk. We cover this in detail in when secured memory care is safer. If a person is missing, call 911 first and ask about a Silver Alert.

Bring help into the home

Plenty of people live alone with dementia safely for a year or more with the right support. What helps most:

• A home care aide for a few hours a day, ideally at the same time each day so there is a routine.
• A neighbor or friend with a key who checks in.
• Meals delivered or prepared in advance.
• An adult day program a few days a week, which also gives the family a break.

Medicare now has a program built for this. The GUIDE model from the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services funds dementia care navigation, caregiver training and, for eligible people, a respite benefit that can pay for in home care or adult day services. It is for people with Medicare Parts A and B who live in the community and are not enrolled in Medicare Advantage, and enrollment goes through a participating GUIDE program, not through Medicare directly. Ask your parent's doctor whether one operates nearby.

The order to do things in

The Florida Abuse Hotline takes reports of abuse, neglect, exploitation and self neglect of a vulnerable adult, and Florida's statute makes anyone who suspects it responsible for reporting. If your parent is in immediate danger, call 911 instead.

What we will tell you honestly

Memory care is not the first step for everyone, and we would rather say so. A parent in the early stage, with a safe house, a daily visitor and a sharp morning routine, is often better off at home for now. Moving someone with dementia is disruptive, and it should not happen earlier than it needs to.

What we can offer is a place to learn what a move would involve before there is a crisis. A short respite stay at either community, a few days to a few weeks, lets your parent try it and lets you see how they respond. Our memory care page explains how the secured section works.

Signs that living alone has stopped working

Do not wait for a fall or a fire. These are the signals that the plan has run out:

• Weight loss, or spoiled food that has been eaten or kept.
• Missed medications that the dispenser and a daily check did not fix.
• A burner left on more than once, even with a shutoff device.
• Getting lost, or leaving the house at night.
• Unexplained bruises, which often mean falls nobody reported.
• A caregiver, usually you, who is not sleeping or is making mistakes at work.

One of these is a conversation. Two or three is a decision. The signs that assisted living is no longer enough post covers what comes after that.

You do not have to solve this alone, and you do not have to solve it this month. Get the diagnosis, sign the papers, make the house safe, and bring in help. Then decide the rest with the information you now have.

Frequently asked questions

Can a person with dementia live alone in Florida?

Yes, for a time. Many people in the early stage live alone safely with a written diagnosis, a safe kitchen, managed medications and regular help at home. It stops working with wandering, repeated unsafe cooking, missed medications or weight loss.

What should I do first if my mother has dementia and lives alone?

Get a diagnosis in writing from a neurologist or a Florida Memory Disorder Clinic, then see an elder law attorney about a power of attorney and health care surrogate while she can still sign. Then check the stove, medications, car and finances.

How do I find a memory disorder clinic in Citrus County?

Call the statewide Elder Helpline at (800) 963-5337. Florida authorizes 17 Memory Disorder Clinics across 13 service areas, and the Helpline can tell you which one serves your county.

How do I report a vulnerable adult who is not being cared for?

Call the Florida Abuse Hotline at (800) 962-2873, which takes reports of abuse, neglect, exploitation and self neglect 24 hours a day. In immediate danger, call 911.

What is the Medicare GUIDE program for dementia?

It is a Medicare program that pays for dementia care navigation and, for eligible people, a respite benefit. It requires Medicare Parts A and B, living in the community, and enrollment through a participating GUIDE program.

Sources

• Florida Department of Elder Affairs, Alzheimer's Disease Initiative
• Florida Department of Children and Families, Adult Protective Services
• CMS, Guiding an Improved Dementia Experience (GUIDE) Model
• Alzheimer's Association, Home Safety

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Written by

Cameron Hernando Clark

Community Relations Director

Cameron Hernando Clark is the Community Relations Director for The Manors of Citrus. He writes this family guide to help Citrus County families make sense of assisted living and memory care, drawing on the day to day of running two family owned communities on Florida's Nature Coast.